Toxic people are everywhere, and we are no exception to them. We all have at least one or two such people in our social circles. We may live with them, work with them, or even have them in our coterie. But they are difficult to spot. Therefore, it becomes all the more important to identify various types of toxic people who will surely poison your life. There are a few clear signs of toxic people, friends and people to look out for before you learn how to deal with toxic people and disarm them.
What happens when you cut off a toxic person?
Toxic people are one of the biggest challenges of your life and are major impediments to your life progress. They can be venomous, destructive and draining. So it is important to look out for specific signs of toxic people and cut them off from your life. When you cut off toxic people from your life, it eliminates the negativity around you and allows positivity to seep in. It empowers you to be your best version and be more effective in all your endeavours. As you cut toxic people off from your life, you become more effective in channelizing your energies in the right direction. As a result, you are able to form a more meaningful relationship with yourself and others. You also become more effective in forming meaningful relationships at work. It also enables you to have more time for yourself and for people you love spending time with.
Therefore, just as we avoid toxins in the air, we need to limit our exposure to toxic people in life and keep ourselves protected at all times. And in turn, we become more productive, positive and focused.
So, to empower yourself, you need to look for six types of toxic people and toxic friends to spot, stop and cut off. And to do so, you need to understand typical signs of toxic people and stay away from them as they will never be worth your time and energy.
People either inspire you or drain you off. So, choose them wisely ― Hans F. Hasen
Toxic relationship quiz
Many people do not even know if they are in a toxic relationship until they suffer the extreme cause of discovering it at a point in time when it is too late, or the damage has been caused. These alarming signs often go unnoticed only to make you realize one day that you are in a toxic relationship! So, how to determine if you are in a tox relationship? Take this ‘Toxic Relationship Quiz‘ or ‘ Am I in a Toxic Relationship Quiz‘ to find out if you are in a toxic relationship. Answer the following question in yes or no.
Toxic Relationship Quiz | Am I in a Toxic Relationship Quiz
- Do you feel like you are always emotionally manipulated and tricked into something you never wanted to do?
- Do you feel bad for yourself when you are in their company?
- Do you often find yourself in a defending position in front of the toxic person?
- Do you feel unsure about the other person’s behaviour as it confuses you?
- Do you often feel let down by your toxic friend or toxic partner?
- Do you often feel that you deserve an apology that you never receive from them?
- Do you feel uncomfortable when surrounded by toxic people?
- Do you often find them too pessimistic and gloomy that you cannot handle them anymore?
- Do you find that their negativity is bothering you a lot lately?
- Do you feel that they often cross a fine line that ruptures your self-esteem, even after you have asked them not to do so?
- Do you think that they do not treat you, your choices and your family and friends, the way you expect them to be?
- Do you feel drained or not good enough in their company?
- Do you think they do not understand you, listen to you and do not make any attempt in that direction?
- Do you think you are the only one sacrificing and compromising in your relationship?
- Do you feel extremely frustrated, negative, worthless and unhappy in their company to the point you do not want them in your life anymore?
- Do you feel that they cause dissonance in you to a point that your normal life is affected?
- Do you feel they are too controlling and demanding to be true?
- Do you think they are jealous of you and your success under the garb of relationship or friendship?
- Do you think they are always seeking something in return to the point that you end up feeling used emotionally, physically and financially?
- Do you think your relationship with them has become abusive or bitter to the point that you want to let them go?
If the answer to most of these questions is yes, then you are in a toxic relationship, and it is time to let them go!
So how do you know if a relationship is toxic?
There are a few clear signs that hint that your relationship is toxic such as manipulation, gaslighting, infidelity, dishonesty, abuse, lack of trust to name a few. Other signs of toxic relationships include dominating behaviour and a tussle to control. These traits in a relationship are not healthy and can make both partners feel drained. When one of the partners compromises and sacrifices more than the other, it can cause resentment and a grudge to seep into the relationship. And it is a clear sign that the relationship has become toxic and needs to be repaired to be taken care of.
Signs of toxic people, a toxic friend or a toxic person
The first critical step is to detoxify our lives by understanding and spotting a toxic person by looking at a few unique signs of toxic people. Such people, unfortunately, do not come with a warning label, but there are things you can look out for.
There are some alarming signs to look out for when dealing with a toxic person or a toxic friend. Here are some signs of toxic people to look out for:
- Toxic people are manipulative.
- Toxic people always try to control you and get their job done.
- Your relationship with the toxic person is mostly transactional and quid pro quo.
- Toxic friends only pop up in your life when they need you.
- A toxic person is always looking for sympathy so as to gain something out of you.
- A toxic person is jealous of you and your success. And they will not leave any chance to show you down.
- Toxic people are always all about themselves.
- Toxic people make you sacrifice and compromise in a relationship.
- Toxic people use you financially, emotionally and physically.
- Toxic people can make you feel bad about yourself, put you down, blame you, guilt trap you and make you feel not good enough.
- Toxic people never attempt to understand you or be there for you when you really need them.
- Toxic people make your relationship a relationship of convenience.
- Toxic people are pessimistic and can make you feel negative and drained.
- Toxic people never apologise even when they are at fault.
- Toxic people often rupture your self-esteem and self-respect.
6 Types of Toxic People To Spot, Stop and Cut off
Here are the six types of toxic people to look out for:
1. The Vampire
Such people are the most common of the lot and most dangerous. They use you emotionally and financially, suck the best out of you and bleed you completely dry.
Financially toxic people drain our resources like our hard-earned cash. While emotionally toxic people use you emotionally to get their work done and get something tangible out of you. They use manipulation tactics to suck time, energy and moolah out of you under the façade of friendship without giving you anything in return.
They may also be called parasites, creepers or climbers. They feed on you emotionally and mentally and may even exploit you. They may even lie, exaggerate, or twist original verdicts to serve their selfish motive. They are tricky to deal with and very well know your likes and dislikes. They exactly know how to deal with you and use this information as a part of their hidden agenda.
“If you really love me, you will not question me”, sounds quite familiar right? It is exactly how emotional manipulation may start.
2. The Cactus
The cactus is the jealous lot in our lives and are incredibly toxic. These cacti are always jealous of your success both professionally and personally. The moment they spot a lacuna or a chance to show you down, they will not miss this opportunity to bring you down. They cannot be happy for anyone, and typically, their jealousy will come out as criticism or gossip. Be watchful and save yourself before they sting you with their thorns.
3. The Chameleons
Many people in our lives come barging our doors with all pretentious love and care especially when we have something tangible that they are looking to extract from us. They may even succeed in fooling us with their sweet smile & ostentatious affection, which will typically last only till our stock will last.
They are the frogs of the rainy season. Such social chameleons are difficult to spot as they may hypnotize you with their flamboyant charm that is only co-terminus with their camouflage. The interesting fact is that when you approach them they are nowhere to be found. Yes, you are ghosted! Time to ghost them back.
4. The Bossy Bobs
We all have those bossy Bobs in our lives who love to control us. Such people are not difficult to recognize.
Here are a few traits of such people to look out for
- They know what your problem is before you know them
- They cannot withstand any other opinion which is not in line with their own
- They get angry when you do not follow their advice
- They have personal rules which they expect you to follow
- They do not see themselves as controlling
- They attempt to undermine your confidence by making jabs at you either in private or public.
- They try to change you
- They may even gaslight you
You are merely a tool or a puppet in their hands, whom they love to manoeuvre and control to satisfy their self-esteem and massage their inflated egos. As long as you are under their claws, you are good to go. But as soon as you rebel, the deal is over. Watch out for such bullies.
5. The Brokers
Such people are all about give-and-take in all their social dealings. They provide one good to get another as a quid pro quo and always expect something in return. Their relationship is always conditional, and they want to earn a commission for giving you something. Sexual favours in lieu of promotion or casting couch in the film industry is an apt example.
We all have such dealers in our lives, and they are easy to spot if you look closely. They are not your true friend so keep your association limited without expecting any free help.
6. The Sympathy Addicts
We come across attention seekers quite often in our lives. They are a reservoir of drama and conflict. Such people always seek sympathy from others by pretending to be a victim of emotional exploitation and showing how innocent they are.
Like a bicycle that can’t hold without the stand, they cannot stand without your emotional support. They often suffer from low self-esteem, weak mental strength and have feeble personalities. They suffer from poor-me syndrome so much that they get used to it and learn to live with it. They may indirectly trouble others with their attention-seeking attitude.
Such people may also treat you like punching bags or dumping bins, and they feel it’s their right to hit you whenever they face turmoil in life. You are merely an agony-aunt with all the life wisdom! But when it’s your turn to share your derailments, they are shut for business.
While such people do not come as toxic personalities immediately, they emotionally drain you and indirectly suffocate you with their never-ending problems that are apparently out of their control. Therefore, it is important to schedule your time for your priorities in life rather than giving such people much encouragement.
I am sure a few names must have already popped up in your mind while reading this article as to those who are toxins in your life. But do not get blown away and stand up for yourself and learn to say no. Let not such toxic people, toxic friends, toxic families or even toxic parents (in some rare cases) rob you of your happiness and peace of mind.
It is imperative to choose your coterie and your friends wisely as they not only motivate you in achieving your dreams but also can make or break you.
How to deal with toxic people?
We have a detailed post on how to deal with toxic people. Please click here to read the article: How To Deal With Toxic People? 8 Tips To Disarm Your Toxic Friends!
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PS: Do not forget to have a look at the 6 types of Toxic People to Spot, Stop and Cut off Infographic if you love consuming information in infographic form.
