I will be honest with you. I used to manifest almost all the habits of an emotionally weak person, as listed in this post. For years, I obsessed over petty things, scapegoated others, and procrastinated. I spent much of my life feeling sorry for myself and embracing a victim mentality. There came the point when these traits became my alter ego. I even forgot who my authentic self was!
And to top it up, I kept waiting for someone to fix me.
It took me a while to realize how this emotional weakness was plaguing me, but I bounced back. I started working on myself with a solid determination to change it all. All I did was start small and implement things one by one. And I began to make little progress, and progress was my proof.
I relaunched myself with a robust emotional mindset and shed away the habits that made me emotionally weak.
I do not claim that I have become perfect now, but I have made a lot of advancements that I am proud of.
And I am still evolving!
Raise your hand if you have been in such a scenario. Raise your hand if you are ready to break those barriers and want to grow stronger.
So what are those habits that are making you weak? Let us spot them and then deal with them head-on.
I will start with emotions and how you should handle them. The way you regulate your feelings speaks a lot about your personality. When it comes to managing emotions, there are two kinds of people. On the one hand, some people make mistakes, learn from them and grow strong. On the other hand, some people seldom process their emotions, commit the same mistakes and never learn from them. Emotionally weak people are the ones who belong to the latter category.
For example, a dear friend close to my heart has seen a lot in life. But she never learns from her mistakes, keeps oscillating back and forth, and therefore, remains emotionally weak and susceptible. She often gets into a victim mentality and poses questions such as why only me? She is not open to feedback and does not take criticism in a positive light. And to make the matter worse, she is stuck in a state that makes her weaker daily. The problem is not that. The problem is she is unwilling to change, despite all my attempts to fix her several times.
So what is it that is keeping her in that sorry state?
A resistance to change!
How can you become emotionally intense when you are not ready to change? Change first comes from within. Nobody can teach you, impose it on you or help you unless you are prepared to help yourself. To evolve and break your weak mindset, you need to be open to the idea of transformation.
So the first thing you need to do is accept that you are doing something wrong in your life and that something is limiting your effectiveness. When you acknowledge things and your shortcomings, you become motivated enough to break those habits and then bring about a change.
But what is it like to be emotionally strong or emotionally weak?
Emotional strength is your ability to handle, express and regulate your emotions in healthy ways. Moreover, it is your ability to be resilient. Emotionally strong people not only introspect often but also are good at processing their emotions. They are easy when it comes to accepting their shortcomings and learning from their mistakes. One thing that distinguishes them from their weak counterparts is that they take charge of their lives and pull their own strings. These people have an internal locus of control, regulate their emotions well, and express them in healthy ways.
However, it is not easy to be emotionally strong, and it might not come naturally to many people. But with due emotional intelligence and a little self-awareness, people can transform themselves to become emotionally strong and resilient.
On the other hand, emotional or mental weakness is the inability to regulate and express your emotions in balanced and healthy ways. Emotionally weak people do not introspect and accept their shortcomings. They often blame others and never learn from their past. They find it difficult to commit and focus. And they have an external locus of control. Being emotionally weak can affect many aspects of their lives, such as sticking to a routine, keeping up promises, decision-making, and social interactions. And it all renders them ineffective in the long run.
However, emotional weakness or weak-mindedness is not anyone’s fault and is not something to be ashamed of. You are not born strong. Though this quality can be innate in some people, most of us learn to be mentally and emotionally strong. Being emotionally intense is a life skill we all need to possess to survive and navigate the hardships of life.
So what can be done to become emotionally strong? The only answer is to learn about your shortcomings and then work upon them.
It is good to have habits, and habits are necessary to put your life in order. One thing that clearly demarcates high achievers from everyone else is their positive habits. Your habits can make you or break you.
So what are the seven habits breaking you and making you emotionally weak?
7 Habits that are making you emotionally weak?
1. You don’t take responsibility for your actions
Emotionally weak people have this habit of attributing all their actions to reasons beyond their control. They have an external locus of control and often blame external factors for their misfortunes or actions. If anything goes wrong, these people are the first ones to blame others and put the onus on them rather than take ownership of their actions. It hints toward an escapist mentality and is clearly a sign of an emotionally weak personality.
On the other hand, emotionally resilient people take charge of their actions and have an internal locus of control.
2. You make decisions based on emotions instead of facts
Do you remember an episode where your initial response led to something that went out of control? Sometimes we all make decisions based on emotions and not based on facts, only to realize later in life that those were not the best decisions of our lives. If you make decisions based on emotions, you tend to think from the heart and not from your mind. When feelings start dominating your life, your objectivity, rationale, and values take a backseat, and you end up making a choice you regret later on.
There is nothing wrong with it if it is a rare occurrence. But if it becomes your habit, it indicates that you are not strong enough and get controlled by your emotions instead of values. Emotionally weak people fail to balance their decision with values, rationale, and objectivity. And therefore, they make decisions that are often impulsive and not optimal.
To break this habit, you need to identify the emotions that dominate your mind and weigh them in the light of values, logic, and objectivity before making any decision. This simple exercise will slowly make you emotionally strong.
3. You obsess over the reasons behind everything
Are you someone who often longs to find the reason behind everything? Do you believe that ‘whatever happens has a reason behind it?’ While that’s true that everything happens for a reason, sometimes it is beyond logic and cognition. Whenever you indulge in finding reasons behind everything, you become emotionally weaker.
The better idea would be to accept that not all things happen your way and not obsess with finding the reasons behind everything. When you overdo it, you spend a lot of time overthinking and analyzing than taking action and finding solutions. Luck is a significant factor in our lives, and when you recognize and accept it, you focus on working hard than obsessing over why you are not that lucky!
4. You do not believe in yourself
Emotionally weak people do not believe in themselves and their strengths. It means they do not have faith in themselves and lack the confidence to accomplish what they want. Not putting faith in your abilities not only makes you emotionally weak but also makes you perform worse.
5. You do not take care of yourself
Emotionally weak people do not take care of themselves as they attach their self-worth to their achievements, status, material possessions, and finances instead of basing their self-worth on who they are. Mentally weak people find it difficult to love themselves as they often keep pushing themselves to limits to prove their mettle. And it can quickly become counterproductive.
Taking care and loving yourself is not easy. People often say, ‘love yourself,’ and it sounds simple. But it is tough to put into practice.
However, not taking care of yourself can pose many problems, such as not prioritizing your mental, emotional and physical health, neglecting self-care practices, putting too much pressure on yourself, and burnout.
But if you pause and live a life to please yourself, you will realize the strength in taking breaks. After all, your worth is based on who you are and not on what you do.
6. You are not open to criticism or feedback
Emotionally weak people are sensitive to any criticism or feedback against them. As a result, they often avoid taking feedback. Even if they receive constructive criticism, they do not take it in a positive light and instead get offended. Such behaviour reflects their low self-esteem and faith in themselves. It also suggests their resistance to change and improvisation. And it is a typical example of emotionally weak personalities.
7. Letting others control you
Have you ever said yes to people without thinking, only to regret it immediately after committing to it? And do you often choose what is easy and not what is right? Standing out from the crowd, saying no when you do not want to say yes, and being true to yourself, is a big sign of your emotional resilience. On the other hand, when others easily influence you, you may make selections that you regret later on. Other people are sharp enough to recognize this as your emotional weakness and may take advantage of you.
No matter how hard you find it to say no, it sometimes is worth it. When you learn to say no, you start to prioritize your well-being over anything else and fight back to protect your interest. Slowly, you pave the way for emotional strength to seep in.
These are seven things that make you emotionally weak. So, now you know of them, pledge yourself to break these habits and transform yourself. But do not be harsh on yourself if you are not there yet. Approach yourself with kindness and commit to change. Always believe in yourself.
Growing emotionally mature is a life journey so take it easy, one step at a time!
So are you ready to break these habits that make you emotionally weak? Please mention your thoughts in the comment section below.
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