Inner Child Work- How To Free Yourself From Subconscious Pain?

No matter how big or small, we all experience trauma in our lives, especially as a child. This trauma can result from the minutest things such as when someone you loved threw your favourite stuffed toy into the mud or when your best friend moved to a different city making you feel abandoned. And it could also be a result of bigger unfortunate events such as when someone you trusted abused you emotionally or physically in your childhood days. And all it does is wound your inner child that you carry unconsciously in your present. So how to heal your wounded inner child and heal yourself emotionally? And how to free yourself from subconscious pain? The answer lies in trying inner child work.

And here is where true liberation happens. 

There is a child within me, but sometimes it is not very still. 

I can guarantee you your liberation, provided you become aware of your wounded inner child and work towards healing them. You will be amazed to see what you uncover through the process of inner child work. But what is the inner child work, and how does the inner child work heal you? 

No one is going back for that inner child. Except you!

What is inner child work?

Inner child work also referred to as the process of reparenting your wounded inner child is an essential element of your spiritual awakening journey. It is the practice of taking certain steps to heal your wounded inner child and liberate them from all the trauma and pain by navigating to the root cause of your problems rather than superficially treating the symptoms. It is a technique where you commit yourself to reparenting your former self and assure them of all your love, care and protection by contacting, understanding, and embracing your inner child. When you revisit your inner child to fix the hurt, heal the former wounds and integrate these fragmented parts, you start to heal and learn to let go of your subconscious pain.

Most of us are grown-ups, but we are not adults at all. 

How does inner child work heal us emotionally?

You may ask: what are the benefits of inner child work? When you practice inner child work and embrace your former shattered self, you reconnect with the broken, unfulfilled and fragmented part of yourselves a.k.a the wounded inner child. When you encounter and befriend your wounded inner child you begin to discover the root cause of many of your sabotaging behavioural patterns caused by your deep-rooted insecurities, fears and phobias. And it is when the magic starts to happen and you start to heal emotionally. So instead of just superficially treating the symptoms, you learn to go to the core of your problems to reveal the fear, insecurities and other undesired life patterns. And this is why inner child work is important.

Inner child work helps us shed the unwanted and unresolved psychological baggage from our past and frees us not only from mental health troubles but also from physical ailments and relationship dysfunction. And the first positive outcome of the inner child work technique is that you discover and develop a meaningful relationship with yourself first.

When you start to practice the inner child work technique on a regular basis, it liberates you from the shackles of your past and frees you from the subconscious pain by healing your former self and the wounded inner child that you are carrying within.

Why did your inner child get wounded?

So how did your inner child get wounded in the first place, and why do you even need the inner child work?

Well, we all as children undergo a lot of things that can cause us to hurt. When our childhood trauma is very harsh or repeated several times, it leaves our inner child wounded. And it often manifests in the form of trust issues, behavioural or emotional inconsistencies, destructive life patterns, depression, unhappiness, poor self-esteem etc. 

A wounded psyche, soul loss or emotional hurt are the most probable outcomes of your childhood traumas. Sometimes we are cognizant of it, and sometimes we are not. This is the childhood trauma I am referring to. 

Here is a list of the most common types of childhood traumas that may cause your inner child to get wounded:

1. Having parents who were mostly unavailable both emotionally and physically. 
2. Having parents who were not affectionate enough.
3. Having to see parents fight often, getting separated and divorced.
4. Having to choose between one of the parents due to separation. 
5. Having to see one of the parents or siblings pass away or witnessing other such traumatic events, leading to guilt and grief. 
6. Being bullied and shamed often in your childhood days.
7. Being called by offensive and derogatory names and verbally insulted in school or at home. 
8. Being hit by parents or siblings often.
9. Being punished often with harsh retributions.
10. Not being fed properly or taken care of by the parents. 
11. Feeling insecure and unsafe in your own house. 
12. Being touched inappropriately or molested repeatedly by someone known such as a parent, relatives or friends. 
13. Being abandoned by parents or friends in childhood days. 
14. Not being encouraged or supported and always being negated in childhood days. 

There are many more causes of emotional trauma, and the above causes are given just to give you an idea about what all the inner child work will deal with. At this point, it is important to remember that it is not just your parents who are responsible for instigating your childhood trauma, it could be other people as well, such as your grandparents, relatives, siblings, childhood friends, extended family members and other people. 

5 ways to work with your inner child and heal your subconscious pain

So you may think that when you work with your inner child, you are becoming a child again, or it is childish to do so. But it is not actually what you think it is. Inner child work is all about reconnecting with your former self when you were a child- innocent and pure! It’s about being childlike and not childish. 

I strongly believe that we all have the ability to experience our former innocence and piousness. And to do so we need to overcome all our insecurities, phobias, hatred, guilt and shame. Also, we need to learn how to let go of resentment. And to do so, we need to heal the wounded inner child we are carrying within. 

So how to go about it healing our inner child? We must acknowledge and embrace our wounded inner child and earn their trust back by promising it all the love, support, care and protection. 

So here are the 5 most powerful techniques to perform the inner child work:

1. Establish communication with your inner child

The first step to healing your inner child is to acknowledge their presence and speak to them. Tell them that you are here to talk to them and ensure them of all your support and protection. When you treat them with kindness, empathy and respect, they start to respond. 

You can say to them things like:

Thank you for being there and for trusting me. 

I love you regardless of what happened. 

I am sorry I couldn’t protect you. 

I am here for you now and will protect you by all means.

I will liberate you of all your pain. 

Make communication with your inner child a habit. You can also write them letters and maintain a journal of your thoughts, questions and answers. When you acknowledge their presence and communicate with them on a regular basis, you start to heal. 

2. Refer to your old pictures 

Revisit all your pictures from the past and keep them near you. When you revisit your old pictures, it triggers old memories. It presents you with an opportunity to get reminded of your inner child and how happy or sad you were then. When you encounter happy moments, you heal, and when you encounter traumatic ones, you process them and heal. A win-win situation for you right?

Traumatic life events from your past haunt your present, especially when you repress them. So referring to old albums help you release those pent-up feelings and liberate you of the subconscious pain, provided you work through them and process them. When you refer to your childhood albums, you start to heal eventually. Make the best use of this technique.

3. Recreate a situation from your past

Grab your cushions and coffee, and think of a situation from your past that you enjoyed the most. Think about the activities you enjoyed and loved doing the most as a child. I used a enjoy a lot of things such as relishing the homemade sandwiches prepared by my mom, family picnics at city parks, and playing games with my siblings. If you think of yours too, you will find many. You will not be short of those moments. 

So, make time to include the things you enjoyed as a child in your present. And trust me, you will reconnect to the sides of yourself you never thought existed as adults. And when you become childlike, it takes you out of your current state of mind. So when you visit it again and then again, you eventually shed all the repressed feelings you have been carrying for so long.

Trust me, this discovery is life-changing and has the ability to heal you emotionally. 

4. Speak to your reflection in the mirror

It is one of the most practical ways of healing your inner child and reconnecting with them. It is also called as mirror work technique. It is a direct way of speaking with your inner child. If nothing works, it will!  

As a first step, find the time when there is no one around. Look at yourself in the mirror softly and initiate a dialogue with yourself. When you speak to yourself some unexpected emotions can surface, but you have to let them pass. And ultimately after some time, when the dust settles, you can sense the presence of your inner child in your eyes. When you see them, you should acknowledge their presence and welcome them. You may consider saying things like: 

I can see you.

I know you are hurt, but you do not have to suffer anymore.

I am there to protect you.

I am so proud of you etc.

When you are done speaking, thank your inner child for reaching out to you and tell them things you want to share with them. When you are about to end mirror-gazing, tell them you will visit them again soon. Conclude your session by giving yourself a warm hug and journaling about your experience. 

5. Set out yourself up for an inner journey

One of the most powerful ways to free yourself from subconscious pain is to do an inner journey. It is about venturing deep into your thoughts to uncover your emotional conflicts in an attempt to process the same. Once you work through your inner conflicts, you start to release the pent-up feelings from the past that limit your abilities to be effective in your present. 

You can try meditation and visualization to set yourself up for an inner journey.

Meditation technique for healing your inner child

Meditation involves breathing, relaxing and allowing yourself to witness your inner thoughts freely. Here you can confront your inner child and ask them questions such as my dear child, when did you first experienced trauma in your life? 

And then you allow yourself some time as you may witness some commotion in your mind. Your inner child may not be ready to reveal the answers immediately. However, with practice, you will get there. Once your inner child feels safe and loved, it will embrace you too, and you will get all your answers. 

Visualization technique for healing your inner child

Another way to process your inner child is the visualization technique. It is a more active technique where you visualize a place where you feel empowered. You can call that place your power place or a safe haven. The idea is to visualize and find a place like a garden or a cosy corner in your house where you feel safe, secure, empowered and strong enough to deal with your past trauma. And then, you try to establish a dialogue with your inner child at that place. 

Here is a series of steps you can follow:

• Close your eyes and visualise a power place that makes you feel secure and strong.
• Soak yourself in that place and feel it right there. 
• Once you are comfortable, imagine your former self entering that place.
• Embrace your inner child and give them a warm hug. Make them feel at home. 
• Establish communication with your former self and ask them questions such as how are you? And then ask them when was the first time they felt hurt or wounded?
• Wait for them to respond. 
• When they are done, thank them for confiding in you and assure them of all your protection. 
• Tell them you will meet again and more often. 
• Say goodbye to them.
• You also leave your power place and regain your consciousness. 

When you do this regularly you, start to heal yourself emotionally and free yourself of the subconscious pain. It does wonders. Trust me! 

So, this is all about inner child work to reparent and heal your inner child. With this technique, you learn to heal, resolve and liberate yourself of all the trauma and subconscious pain you have been holding on to for years. It helps you stay true to yourself and find your emotional balance and spiritual maturity. 

If you need more in-depth guidance, I recommend you go check out the signs of a wounded inner child and then take conscious steps to heal your inner child.

Also, you may like to read more about healing yourself emotionally. 

So are you ready to heal and free yourself from the subconscious pain? 

I hope this post has encouraged you to process your conflicts and reconnect with your inner child on a much deeper level. If you have any thoughts to share with us, do mention the same in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you. 

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