How To Heal Your Inner Child? Inner Child Healing Exercises & Tips!

Have you ever wondered why you can’t move forward in life? Have you ever thought about why you feel guilt and resentment? Have you ever questioned why you fear abandonment, have trust issues and suffer from low self-esteem? The reason is that inside of you lives an inner child who was once wounded. Yes, we all carry within us the wisdom of our present self and the innocence of our former self a.k.a our inner child. But many of us experience neglect and trauma as a child, and such harsh experiences get sealed within us somewhere, resulting in deep wounds. The wounded inner child lives in our subconscious and influences our present behaviour. So, we need to fix ourselves up to be more effective in our present and make the most out of it. And it is what is called inner child work– a process of nurturing and healing your inner child. Sow how to heal your inner child and how to go about it?

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Suggested reading: 8 Signs You Are Carrying A Wounded Inner Child Within?

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My inner child is coming out and it hurts

Many of us often spend a considerable time thinking my inner child is coming out, and it hurts. So you need to figure out why your inner child is reaching out to you and why is it hurting so much. You need to find out if it is your childhood trauma, an unmet need, or an unfulfilled desire for love and safety that is making it haunt your present. These are the issues that drive your wounded inner child the most. But it is a good sign that your inner child is reaching out to you after a prolonged period of hiding. And in all probability, your inner child wants to share with you that it is broken and hurt and needs your help. And you, as a guardian of your inner child, should be receptive to them and carefully listen to their story, struggles, fears and worries before you attempt to fix them. 

Why it is important to heal your inner child?

Our brains are very receptive at a young age, and it is the critical period for learning and forming early life experiences. Based on the kind of role we played in childhood, our brains create our own survival tactics and shape the behaviour that we exhibit in our present. And these scripts become our guiding factor to our subconscious mind when making decisions. When we attend to our wounded inner child in an endeavour to heal it, we also revisit, review and process those memories. And as we revisit them, we are able to deal with them as adults. Yes, nurturing, reparenting and healing our wounded inner child helps us revisit, review and re-write the script of our lives. 

The process of healing your inner child is a lot like dealing with the challenges of your past self as an adult and not as a vulnerable kid. Healing your inner child is a kind of self-care practice that you shower on yourself. And therefore, healing your inner child is not only important but also an essential survival skill. 

No one else is going back to your past self and heal your wounded inner child, except you! - Akram Ali 

What does it mean to reparent or heal your inner child?

Reparenting or healing your inner child is about healing your past trauma or wounds that still persist within you. When the needs for affection, achievement, praise and emotional support go unmet in childhood, the deep wounds it causes can prevail in your adult life as well. And now that you have grown up, you can determine what your inner child needs to heal, and you can provide it to it. In fact, you are parenting your own inner child to help it heal, prosper and reject the old hypothesis it formed in its childhood days. When you nurture your wounded inner child, and make it feel safe and listened to, it starts healing and helps you recreate a future you always longed for. 

What is inner child work?

Inner child work is an approach to healing your inner child that requires you to take out time to know yourself, examine your emotional response to things, and then introspect where those instincts come from.  It involves acknowledging, communicating, understanding and embracing your wounded inner child in order to heal it. The inner child work is a therapy that your present self gives to your former self. Through inner child work, you can learn to resolve past trauma you have been holding on to for years in your subconscious. And when you practice inner child work on a regular basis, you start to heal emotionally (5 Steps To Healing Yourself Emotionally) and become effective in your present. 

How to heal your inner child? 5 Effective Tips

Here are 5 steps to nurture, reparent and heal your inner child:

1. Formulate a conversation with your inner child

The first step to healing your inner child is to acknowledge their existence by giving them an identity. You can start by feeling their presence. Talk to your inner child and tell them that you can see it, feel it and sympathise with their pain. Speak to your inner child and treat them with kindness and respect. You can reaffirm your inner child by saying a few things such as I love you, I am sorry, I am here for you, thank you, I forgive you, etc. 

Connect with your inner child by creating a psychologically safe place for them. Establish a meaningful and empathetic relationship with your wounded past self. Let them come out and express their hurt and wounds. Let the wounded inner child narrate and share with you their long and painful journey. Meanwhile, you can reassure them that their safety is your promise and that you won’t let them down ever again. And one way to reconnect with your wounded inner child is through reaffirmations and journaling. 

2. Embrace and validate what happened

Once you acknowledge and establish a dialogue with your wounded past self, go back in time with them and recreate the situation that caused your trauma or emotional impairments. One way is to look at your childhood pics and go back to memories that you want to rewrite. If you encountered neglect, look at those pictures and cuddle yourself. Reassure your inner child of your love and protection. If you are part of the LGBTQ community and experienced shame or guilt, embrace your inner child and reassure them that your feel proud of who they are. The idea is to be realistic about what has happened and accept the same as you travel down memory lane. Give yourself all the things you did not receive as a child, such as appreciation, comfort, love and respect. 

3. Write a letter to your inner child

To heal yourself, write a letter to your inner child. Tell your inner child now you understand what they went through and the circumstance you did not understand back then. For example, as a child, you experienced a lot of shouting and scolding from your brother that made you fear him to date. But now you know that your brother encountered years of bullying and emotional abuse. And now his shouting and hatred make sense. You can write a letter to your wounded inner child and explain the same to him. Your revelation and insights will definitely soothe his pain and offer your inner child comfort and reassurance. It, in turn, will help him heal. 

4. Promise your inner child your protection

Understand that the child who once was not accepted keeps hopping from one relationship to another. The child who never felt complete enough keeps seeking approvals. The child who was once abandoned keeps exhibiting trust issues. And now you hold the key to your inner child. A child who never got desired love from their parents expects the same from you. So promise him what he wants. The wounded inner child needs to hear that you are there for him. 

Now that you are in touch with your wounded inner child, you can help him heal by assuring him of your presence, protection and parenting. Tell your inner child or your former self that you won’t let it suffer, not anymore! Tell your inner child that you will stand tall for their emotional needs, and well-being and will always take care of them. Tell them now you have grown and that you will offer them much-needed protection. 

5. Convince your former self to let go of the past

Now you have connected with your inner child, made it believe in you, reassured him of your love and protection, and are in constant touch with it, now is the time to convince your inner child to let go of the past. Tell them that you know that they are hurting and that it is time to let it all go and move on. Tell them that it is time to let go of the bitter experiences, resentment, shame and guilt. Convince your inner child to forgive others, not for anyone else but for their own peace and well-being. Tell them not to let their former pain and hurtful experiences rule their present and determine their future. 

Once your inner child receives what it longed for so long, it will slowly start healing. It will let go of past and bitter experiences. And as your wounded inner child starts healing, your present self also becomes more peaceful and happy. 

Always remember, it is never too late to heal and try inner child works. By nurturing, parenting and healing your inner child, you become more effective in your present. You learn to express your emotions healthily, and increase self-compassion! The inner child work can truly liberate you from the shackles of your past. 

What can you say to heal your inner child?

Once you acknowledge your inner child and work towards healing it, there are a few things that you should say to heal your inner child all along your healing journey. You can start by saying a few reaffirming statements such as:

• I can see you and feel what you are going through.
• I love you, and I will always be there for you.
• I am sorry for not being there when you needed me.
• I know you are hurt and need my help and parenting.
• Now I am here, I won’t let anyone hurt you.
• You are safe with me, and I am your armour.

You can manifest these things in your mind, visualise yourself speaking to your past self in the mirror and even write letters to your inner child.

Inner child healing exercises?

Here are the three inner child healing exercises that you need to practice on a daily basis to heal and reparent your inner child:

1. Self-parenting

Self-parenting is the practice of parenting your inner self or your past self by being attentive and cognizant of your inner child’s needs. You need to 

• listen to your thoughts, feelings and needs
• be a good parent to your inner child through time, touch and talk
• process your emotions, overcome them and reassure your inner child that you will protect them in future. 
• indulge in such healing activities. 

2. Spiritual-parenting

You can also heal your inner child by indulging in spiritual parenting by:

• prayers, meditation, journaling and studying.
• practising the art of forgiving people and circumstances.
• taking the help of spiritual mentors to guide you and help you heal. 
• being positive and hopeful of a better future ahead.
• by being a spiritual mentor to your inner child. 

3. Mentoring and re-parenting 

You can heal your inner child by mentoring your inner child and acting as their friend, philosopher and guide. The whole idea is to tender love by cultivating a mentoring relationship with your past self. 

So what is the one thing you would want to say to your wounded inner child today? Do share your thoughts in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you. 

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