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We dwell in a society that steadily tells us how to behave, what to do, and what to become. We often succumb to the pressure and start living a life full of lies. We pursue a career that our family wants us to choose, marry because everyone else around us is marrying, and have babies as our parents want to become grandparents. From a young age, we are fine-tuned to become good kids. Kids who fall in the league and avoid undesirable behaviours-to say yes to things, abide by others’ wishes, stop crying or lower their voice when told to do so. We grow up with these expectations and become so attuned to pleasing others that we often forget who we actually are. So let me ask you if you are happy living your life this way, and most importantly are you being true to yourself?
Most of us do not get a chance to follow our dreams, explore beyond what is imposed on us, and chase our curiosity. I never knew my real thoughts and my feelings as I was too consumed with the herd mentality. I wanted to be a perfect kid who excelled in academics with A+ grades, become an engineer, and do an MBA from tier 1 college, only to realize that I wanted something else 10 years later. I was blinded by what people were doing and what society expected me to do. In other words, I was trying to please everyone around me except the most important person in the world-myself! I was busy stuffing my mind with fear, following in line, and eventually anesthetizing my emotions. It made me remain aloof from being self-aware and my true strengths.
I am sure many of you would relate to what I just above in some way or the other. And most of you did not realize this was happening until you figured out that something is limiting your potential and leaving you with little room to think freely.
And to make things worse, we often find ourselves seeking comparisons in terms of our accomplishments and success. And most of the things we compare with others are the things we do not really care about. And we learn that it is more important to be successful than to feel fulfilled and satisfied within.
It was my experience while growing up- a people pleaser always looking for approvals, a person paralyzed with the decision of ‘to be or not to be,’ and a man who wanted to be formidable. And it meant that I had no idea of what I needed. But I wanted to be remarkable. And how could I be remarkable when I did not even know myself? So, I would suggest you to think if you are being true to yourself and find the real answer if you want real success in your life.
I have personally made a lot of advancements over the years by staying true to myself, and so can you by being true to yourself. Yes, I had made a few choices consciously to please people and sometimes without even realizing it. But I decoded it all. I went deep into contemplation, reflection, and confrontation. And here I am, a person with strong opinions who follows his dreams, lives his life on his own terms and conditions, takes care of himself first, and listens to his mind and heart. I do not let anyone dictate my choices, pull my own strings and do what feels right to me. I have learnt to say no, and I value authenticity and sovereignty over approvals and compliance.
But how? I peeled away the layers of worries, anxiety, and fear by being true to my feelings and doing things that felt right. However, this journey was not easy. You will need a lot of courage, determination, and contemplation to tide past it. The layers of anxiety and fear sometimes are hidden and hard to detect. We do not even realize that such a layer exists. And therefore, it starts with detection.
Sometimes we do not even realize that we are exhibiting such behaviour. It becomes our habit to please others and becomes a part of our natural expression. We become so comfortable with the idea of being in good books that we overlook our real emotions. And this, to me, is an injustice committed by ourselves against ourselves. All we know is that something is not right, and we are not sure what is wrong and how we can fix it. And it takes a lot of courage, emotional turmoil, and patience to realize that you are not being true to yourself. It is depressing and painful to know that you are living a lie. So how to stay true to yourself, and how to be true to yourself?
Why it is important to be yourself? The importance of being true to yourself!
Being true to yourself opens new doors for you, like, those of happiness, peace, and truth. When you stay true to yourself, you prioritize yourself over other distracting people or thoughts. And it clears out your mind, pulls you out from the state of being dishonest to yourself, and makes your life more relevant. When you stay true to yourself, you create a happy and safe place to dwell in and peel off the layers of pretence, lies, and fears. While lies only weigh you down, living an honest and meaningful life will only bring immense happiness and joy. And when you let off the things that are no more meaningful or relevant in your life, you are being true to yourself. So it is important to be true to yourself because of the following reasons:
√ It helps you understand who you really are, and makes you happy and more fulfilled as a person.
√ It helps you to be more effective as an individual.
√ It helps you to forge long-lasting & meaningful relationships.
√ It helps you to be more aware of your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.
√ It helps you to peel away the layers of fear and worries.
√ It helps you to become successful in all your endeavours in life.
√ It helps you to navigate through your life more effectively.
√ It helps you become the master of your own destiny and pull your own strings.
√ It helps you to reconnect with your lost self.
√ It helps you to face your fears and heal your wounded inner child.
√ It helps you to love yourself.
How to stay true to yourself or how to be true to yourself?
The first thing to stay true to yourself is to confront and challenge yourself. There are a few things you should confront first. Ask yourself if you are hiding your true feelings and wishes, saying what other people want to hear, and doing things you do not want to do just because you are supposed to do so. If your answer is yes, then you are not staying true to yourself. Also, ask yourself if these are the things you want to do. If you feel off and are not happy with the way things are in your life, it means it is time to challenge the status quo and be true to yourself.
8 Signs you are being true to yourself: The art of being true to yourself
1. You are being honest with yourself
If you are honest with yourself and are clear about what you think, how you feel, and what you want and need, it means you are being true to yourself.
And how can you do it? You need to make yourself a priority, create a space in your life to reconnect with yourself by way of meditation, jotting down your feeling in a diary (journaling), or spending time alone (me-time).
It will prepare you to understand your true self, make you self-aware, and confront the hard choices. You will be more clear on whether or not to leave a relationship that is pulling you back and face your fears. When you are being true to yourself, the answers to various questions come naturally. And these questions could be: Why am I into this? What I am getting out of this? And what is in my best interest?
2. You are speaking your mind freely
One of the most potent signs that indicate that you are being true to yourself is that you speak your mind freely, express your thoughts, and speak up when needed. There are times that you are afraid of being judged or lured to lie to keep up the peace, but you push yourself to keep your point. You know that your feelings are legitimate, and putting your thoughts forward is the key to the right decision.
3. You have learned to say no when you do not want to say yes
It is true that when you start prioritizing yourself to keep yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally fit, you learn to say no. And when you say no to other people because you want to attend to more important things, it shows you are being true to yourself. Yes, putting yourself before others when needed is not selfish but is an act of being true to yourself.
Also, you know when to say yes and when to say no without feeling guilty. You sacrifice a few things to help people, but you know when to sacrifice and compromise and when not to.
You recognize that no one else will live your life for you. And whatever decisions you make, no one else will deal with the consequences of your choice but only you.
4. You are okay when some people do not like you
Everyone likes to be loved and valued by everyone because it feels safe to be validated and correct. But it is also true that truth is sour, and being genuine invites a lot of opposition. And you know, exactly, that you are being genuine and not there to please everyone. You favour being disliked for who you are rather than being liked for what you are not. Moreover, you have people who respect and support you and motivate you to continue being true to yourself. So if you are okay when some people like you and some do not, you are being true to yourself and staying true to your needs.
5. You focus on your own fundamental values than on what society wants
You have learned the script of what is socially acceptable, like starting a family, having a top-notch corporate career, and buying a lavish apartment in NYC. But have you questioned if you are made for all this or if something else gives you more happiness? Maybe it’s a good option to follow in life, but how about the other path that aligns with your values and is more fulfilling?
You are being true to yourself when you know that what is right for others may not be right for you, and you have successfully navigated through it. You clearly know your values and want a life that revolves around those values and makes your life more meaningful.
6. You trust your gut feeling and choose what is best for you
You are being true to yourself when you trust your intuition and gut feeling. You have an inner voice that tells you what’s right for you and what’s not, and you listen to it carefully. You have successfully reflected on your past and resolved your conflicts. And now you have learned to distinguish between what is in for you and what is not. You do what you feel is right for you and do not mind risking approvals from people.
7. You are not afraid to change your mind
Everyone makes mistakes, and so can you. And one of the biggest signs of being true to yourself is that you know that you have made a wrong choice and want to change the course. You know that this is not right for you and that you will take a new course even if this means social embarrassment and inviting unnecessary judgements.
8. You know when it is time to let go
One of the hardest decisions in life is to let go of the past. And once you are strong enough to decipher your inner feelings and work on them, you become brave enough to move on and let go of what is not adding any value to your life. You know when a person, feeling, or thing has run its course, and you need to close the chapter. Yes, at times, letting go also brings uncertainty and fear, but you choose to stay true to yourself and continuously work to bring positive change in your life. And this exactly indicates that you are being true to yourself.
Signs you are being true to yourself
Ask yourself if you are leading a life that you always wanted to live or are you happy with your life. If your answer is yes, it means you are being true to yourself. Most human beings become unhappy with their lives, sooner or later, when they are not true to themselves, as feelings of anxiety and stress seep in. So when you are not true to yourself, you will know. And if you are true to yourself, you will now. And there are a few signs that indicate that you are being true to yourself:
√ You are brutally honest with yourself
√ You speak your mind freely
√ You know when to say no to others
√ You choose what is right even if it means that some people do not like you
√ You focus on your values than what society wants
√ You trust your intuition and choose what is best for you
√ You own up to your mistakes and are not afraid to change your decision
√ You know when it is time to let go
Being true to yourself meaning or staying true to yourself meaning
Okay, so what is the actual meaning of being true to yourself or staying true to yourself? Staying true to yourself or being true to yourself means:
√ You know yourself, you know who you are, and you accept who you are. It means you know your mind, strengths and weaknesses, constraints, and your purpose in life.
√ You believe in yourself and your personal choices and live your life as you want. You pursue a life full of truth and are faithful to your own needs and wants.
√ You are not a people pleaser and do not live a life defined by others’ standards or rules. Being true to yourself means that you are in total control and aware of your emotions, thoughts, and needs.
√ Staying true to yourself means that you live your life with integrity and authenticity. It also means that you live a life defined by your values and beliefs.
√ Being true to yourself also means that you are not afraid to speak your mind and do not fear judgments.
So to choose a happy life, ask yourself what truth would set you free. I have found mine, and hopefully, you will eventually find yours!
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