Meet the Gay Throuple: Gay Throuple Relationships, Rules & Stories!

When you think of relationships, you usually think of two people in love and committed to each other. But times have changed, and it is no wonder to see three gay men in a relationship with each other forming a gay throuple. I know a few gay throuples who are happily in love with each other, and chances are that you may be knowing a few of them too. So let us hear directly from them about their gay throuple relationship stories. When people hear of a gay throuple, they think of raunchiness and fun. But it is more than that. It is like a normal relationship, with three men in love who long to be with each other. And it is certainly much tougher to navigate such a relationship, as managing the expectations of all three partners is not an easy task. It is what Daniel has to say when asked about how he feels to be in a gay throuple relationship. Daniel is in a gay throuple relationship for the last year and still counting. Ahmad and Oliver are his partners, and all the three men are in love with each other. Daniel and Ahmad were primary partners, and then Oliver joined them to form the throuple. 

I feel liberated and fulfilled in a throuple. It is really comforting to live with two men I am in love with. I can sleep and have fun with two different men at the same time and have a variety on my plate. I have more people to share my life with than in a couple. Two is a company, and three is a throuple. Three is certainly a magical number. -Ahmad

There are many gay couples, like Daniel and Ahmad who want to explore the option of being into gay throuple relationships. Some are already into it and choose not to give it a name, while others are vocal about it and claim their throuple status head-on. Yes, gay throuple relationships are a part of our society, and some of them are successfully thriving.

So, are you a gay man or a gay couple who are contemplating getting into one yourself? And if you are thinking of it, you should know how gay throuple relationships work and the gay throuple rules for success! While it may seem a very flowery concept to be in, it demands a lot of wisdom and investment than a couple. So before you decide to open up your couple and jump into a universe of a threesome romance and lovemaking, it is highly recommended that you enlighten yourself and dig deeper into gay throuple relationships and gay throuple rules. Let us directly hear from Daniel, Ahmad and Oliver, as they share their experience, thoughts and story of being in a successful gay throuple. It is time for us to get inspired by successful gay throuple relationship stories and write our own!

What is a gay throuple relationship?

A gay throuple relationship is a romantic relationship between three men equally in love with each other. In a gay throuple, two men in love invite a third man to join their union and form a gay throuple. But the catch here is that all the three men who come together to form a gay throuple relationship are in love with each other. Love is the binding force in a gay throuple and not their carnal desires.

So how does a gay throuple relationship start? In general, two men start as a couple, but to add up the spice in their life they invite a third person for threesome pleasure only to realise that they have fallen in love with each other and end up in a gay throuple. 

Well, if you ask me, we all met in a gay club. I kind of liked both of them, and they made a cute couple. And then we all hooked up that night. We met again and then again and again. And it felt right! We all got integrated into each other’s life so well that we all shifted together. We never even realised if we were even a thing. We never wanted to name it. It took us some time to realise that we were in love with each other and that we are a throuple. It took us almost six months to give it a name. - Oliver

A gay throuple can be open or closed, based on their understanding and based on what works for them.

Also read: The rise of throuple relationships, Triads and Polyamory!

What are open gay throuple relationships?

In an open gay throuple relationship, three men are in love but are allowed to sleep outside the triad, on a condition that their primary loyalties lie with each other. It means you can have fun outside but are not allowed to love someone else outside the throuple.

Every open gay throuple has unique rules that work for them. In some open gay throuple, the partners are allowed to sleep outside, but not talk about it, and in others, they can be vocal about it without inviting any trouble or judgement. Ours is a closed throuple! - Ahmad

What are closed gay throuple relationships?

In a closed gay throuple, three gay men come together to form an exclusive romantic relationship. It means that the three partners are not allowed to sleep outside of their relationship, and their primary loyalties lie with one another.

A closed gay throuple relationship works like a normal closed relationship between two men who are loyal to each other both physically and emotionally. And it is what our triad is. I Daniel and Ahmad are so much into each other that we do not want to be open. We have thought of it, but I guess we are better off being exclusive and reserved for each other only. - Oliver

Are you open to your friends and families?

I am not open to my family, but my friends know that I am in a gay throuple relationship, and they are happy for me. Daniel is open about it to his parents, and they are kind of okay with it. Although they prefer not to talk about it. Oliver is not vocal about our gay throuple to anyone. He thinks that people will not understand our special bond and pass it off as a threesome. Oliver believes that he is happy and so am I and Daniel and that's more than enough for him. - Ahmad

Do you all love each other equally?

Well, I will bet on that question! We all love each other equally, but the dynamics of each of our relationship is different. My relationship with Oliver is different to that of Ahmad, but I love them two equally. And I am sure that the other two feel the same. -Daniel

What is the biggest advantage of being in a gay throuple?

For me, it is about having a comfortable life, having people around who share your responsibilities and of course, more men to sleep with. -Ahmad

Well, apart from comfort, physical intimacy and having more people to care for you, financial security comes in handy with a throuple. Also, we never have a dull moment. If one of us is feeling down, the other two cheer us all up. Ahmad and Oliver are truly my men Fridays! - Daniel

Well, it is like finding the best of both worlds. I have a strong support system of two men who are invested in my life goals. I have more people to share my life with and to learn from. And when there is a disagreement, a moderator is always available. What else can you ask for? - Oliver

What is the biggest challenge of being in a throuple?

One of the biggest challenges is managing expectations and keeping all of the partners on the same page. It takes extra effort and communication that can be quite draining. - Daniel

Sometimes it becomes extra challenging to match the sexual frequencies, and I do not like when the other person says I am not in a mood! - Ahmad

The hardest and the most challenging part is that people do not take us seriously and pass judgements. Some think of us as an aberration, and others get critical. Also, our society is programmed to recognize pairs only. And more often than not, we get the party invitation only for two. Like seriously! - Oliver

People think we are primarily together for physical pleasure under the garb of love. They think we are not exclusive. Yes, threesome got us together, but we moved beyond that and established a relationship based on trust and love. We are all beautiful as a throuple, and we are evolving! – Ahmad

Do throuple relationships work or do gay throuple relationships work?

For some people, the throuple may work pretty well. And for others, it can be just an experiment. Many people form a throuple only to fail eventually! And the primary reason is that people fail to manage the expectations of all three partners, fail to navigate jealousy and check their insecurities. Yes, throuple relationships are tough to navigate as they demand a lot of extra effort in terms of communication, attention and time. To make it work, all the three partners should come together and make sure that they are aligned to win as a throuple. Throuple relationships, whether gay or straight, can work if the throuple follows a few throuple relationship rules such as effective communication, sleeping arrangements, defining deal-breakers and the dos and don’ts. Also, all the partners should understand that it is not a threesome. It is a romantic bond between the three partners who are equals. If these things are kept in mind, a throuple relationship can certainly work! 

Gay throuple relationship rules?

There are no universal gay throuple relationship rules that apply to all the gay throuples. Every gay throuple is unique and have their own rules that work for them. But there are a few fundamental rules that can make your relationship work and help you navigate your relationship with due intelligence and wisdom.

All the three partners should come together and decide how your gay throuple works, like who will handle what responsibilities, the sleeping arrangements, date nights, physical intimacy, spending time, etc. - Daniel

1. Communication can make it or break it

Like any other relationship, communication is a key element of gay throuple relationships as well. For the throuple relationship to work all the three men should effectively communicate with each other. They should share their thoughts, emotions, fears and goals. If one of the partners feels left out, he should make conscious efforts to communicate the same to the other two. 

Often in a gay throuple relationship, jealousy can seep in very easily. There are times when Ahmad and Oliver are spending too much time together, and I feel left out. So, I tell them clearly about how I am feeling and they take care of my feelings pretty well. - Daniel

One time I saw Daniel and Oliver making out on the kitchen counter while I returned from the office. I was damn jealous. But I told them clearly that it is not going to work this way and we need to have rules for this too. And they pleased me with the best s** ever. - Ahmad

When three people are involved, managing expectations become very tough. But communication can help you all be on the same page. Ahmad has some fetish that he always wanted to fulfil with us. He talked about it to us both openly, and we made it real. We still enjoy it from time to time. So, if you want to win as a throuple, you need to communicate and discuss even the minutest thing you have in your heart. - Oliver

2. Set some rules that are deal breakers

As a gay throuple, each partner has their own insecurities and a list of their dos and don’ts. When you come together, all the three of you must establish some ground rules and communicate the same from time to time. All of you must ensure that everyone understands what is acceptable and unacceptable. 

All three partners should come together to define the deal-breakers. For us, sleeping outside of the triad is completely unacceptable and is a deal-breaker. We are romantically and sexually exclusive to each other. And all of us pledge by this rule. - Ahmad

I know of a few gay throuples who are romantically exclusive, but the partners are allowed to venture out sometimes and sleep outside but not talk about it. However, their primary loyalties lie with each other. It works pretty well for them. But it’s a strict no for us. Common, I can't share my boys with anyone else. - Oliver 

3. Spend time with each other

While this may sound pretty obvious, it is of extreme importance in a throuple relationship. As a throuple, all the three partners must make time for each other and spend some quality time. One way to do so is by having all the three partners in a throuple go on date nights together. Apart from this, the two partners should also go on a date together by taking turns. It keeps the gay throuple relationship alive and ensures its longevity.

We all come together in the evening at the dinner time, cook together, watch Netflix, play games, talk about how our day was, and share our intimate details. We have deliberately decided to be present at the same time come whatsoever may. And that's how we keep going. - Ahmad

We all go on date nights together, party together, and make time for each other's favourite hobbies and interests. However, sometimes, when two of us feel that we have not been able to spend quality time due to conflicting schedules or two of us have some issue to resolve, we make it a point to go on a date night. And the third partner can join us later. And then we chill as a throuple. It also applies to making love to bond as a couple. Of course, the third partner is kept in the loop at all times. - Daniel

4. Learn to overcome insecurities and jealousy

Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are normal human traits, and partners in the throuple get jealous too. The problem is not about getting jealous and insecure, but about keeping these feelings to yourself. So, the gay partners in a throuple should make sure that they ventilate their grievances. And the throuple should come together, rescue the jealous partner and make him feel normal again. All of the partners in a throuple should learn to navigate jealousy and insecurity. 

A lot of people think that partners in a gay throuple relationship do not get jealous. But it is actually the opposite of that. We get insecure and jealous a lot more than a couple would be. But the key is to navigate the jealousy and overcome insecurities by open and honest communication. One reason, we all are together for so long is that we share it all. Each of us gets jealous from time to time, but we overcome it as a throuple. - Oliver

Sometimes I get jealous for the lamest reason you can think of. But I tell it to the other too without giving it a thought. And Daniel and Oliver, make sure that they make me feel secure, comfortable, and the most special person in this world. They are my man Fridays! - Ahmad

I think that sometimes the jealousy can be legit. One of my gay friends who was in a throuple has recently walked away from it. He was clearly upset with the other two partners bonding and caring for each other more. He felt left out for quite some time. He shared his feelings to the other two from time to time, but to no avail! So, after a lot of contemplation, he confronted them. He asked them clearly if they wanted to migrate as a couple? And he finally got his answers and walked away for good. - Ahmad

Tell you what that in a throuple it is quite common to have two of the partners come closer to each other for some time and then the next two become close and then the rest two. It is quite normal to have an oscillating closeness between two partners, but in the end, what matters is that all the three men stay together and be in love. - Daniel

5. Have a clearly defined sleeping arrangement

When it comes to gay throuple sleeping arrangements there are no set rules. Some throuple believe that all the three men should sleep together, while others believe that all the three partners can have their own rooms while having one shared room to spend time with and indulge in their carnal desires. There are no universal rules for a gay throuple sleeping arrangements. All gay throuples have different sleeping arrangements that work for them. 

I, Daniel and Ahmad, have our own rooms. But we try to sleep together. When one of us wants to sleep early, he sleeps either in the common room or in his own room. And the two of us move to a different room to chill. But then, in the end, we all make it a point to retire to bed together in each other's arms. If I do not cuddle with and feel the other two men, I cannot sleep. - Oliver

Tips for gay throuple relationships

One thing that works for us as a throuple is that we believe in the principle of equality. No one of us claims to be in love with one person more than the other. We do not compare each other, and it is the mantra of our success. – Daniel

Also read: How to stop comparing yourself to others!

Throuple relationships both, gay or straight, require a lot of sacrifice and compromise, and you should be ready to do the same in the larger interest of your throuple. Ahmad, for example, gave up a new assignment he got in Paris because the rest of us can't relocate. So the challenges are real, but in the end, we are winning as a throuple. – Oliver

The reason we are in a throuple is to be happy. So we make sure that we keep all of us happy, take decisions together, and make sure that we do not shy away from apologizing when the need arises. We also make sure that all three of us are heard and respected. - Ahmad

So this is one of those successful gay throuple stories that are defined by happiness and love. Daniel, Ahmad and Oliver are a successful gay throuple, in love and with a vision of being together for life. The secret of their relationship is that they freely speak their minds, set ground rules, and respect each other. They are each other’s support system and take care of each other’s needs very beautifully. I think they have a lot to teach us and we have a lot to learn from them! 

Why gay men should try a gay throuple once?

So now we know a lot about gay throuple relationships and how they work, let us see the reasons why gay men should try a gay throuple once in their lifetime:

1. It teaches you how to navigate jealousy and insecurities in relationships. 
2. It makes you a better communicator and stretches you out of your comfort zone to make a relationship work.
3. It teaches you how to take care of the varying needs of all the partners in a throuple and helps you understand your own strengths and weaknesses. 
4. You have two-man Fridays to bank upon who can make your life journey easy.
5. You have more people to cuddle with and have the best erotic life, not to mention! 
6. You can have a large extended family and a strong support system.
7. Gay throuple will help you expand your friends network faster than you can imagine. 
8. You will never have a dull moment in your life. Having two men lift you up all the time, can be really fulfilling. 

Hope you liked this post on gay throuple relationships, rules and stories. If you are a gay man in a throuple and want to share your experience with us, mention the same in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you about your experiences of being a throuple. If you find this post meaningful, share this article with your friends and family. Also, check out our YouTube Studio for some inspiring and life-changing videos!

PS: The original names have been changed to protect anonymity.