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To be honest, dealing with toxic people or toxic friends has never been my forte. But like most of us, I have also encountered toxicity in life and successfully navigated through it. I knew when it was the right time to cut ties with toxic people.
But it was not easy. I also knew very well that we all have a few toxic people we cannot bypass at any cost. They can be anyone from your family to your relatives, co-workers, bosses, friends, or anyone you cannot withstand. But I dealt with them fiercely, skillfully, and indirectly. Ultimately, I emerged victorious, regained my peace, and made my life stress-free.
So, let us see how to deal with toxic people, protect yourself from a toxic person, and disarm them head-on. And, more importantly, how to teach a toxic person a lesson.
Toxic people indeed flout reasoning. They spread a lot of negativity around them, creating unnecessary complexity, conflict, and stress.
Stress is a direct threat to your peace of mind and hampers your success. And this is exactly what happens when you surround yourself with toxic people. Whether it’s their negativity, harshness, or victim mindset, toxic people can drive your brain crazy and stress you out.
I have worked across various practical strategies that successful people deploy while dealing with toxic people, and what follows are eight of the best.
To deal with a toxic person efficiently, we all need to take steps that will enable us to control what we can and eliminate what we cannot. And the most important thing to realize is that you are in charge and in control of far more than you think.
But all this is far easier than done. It requires a lot of tact and patience.
So, if you want to teach a toxic person a lesson, you must first accept that they are toxic and then learn to deal with them.
You may also like to read this article about how to spot a toxic person and what the typical signs of toxic people are.
Let’s now talk about how to deal with toxic people!
How To Deal with Toxic People? 8 Proven Strategies to Teach Toxic People A Lesson!
Given below are 8 proven tips to teach toxic people a lesson and disarm them:
1. Recognize the threat and Distance yourself
If you want to disarm toxic people, the first step is to recognize the toxic behaviour and distance yourself from such personalities. It is the first step to desensitizing yourself from their actions and expressions.
Ask yourself if you really value their opinion. Or do they have your best interests at heart? If the answer to the first question is yes and the second question is no, you don’t have to worry about them. It is important to understand that toxic people have the power to upset you only if you let them do so. Exercise your discretion to distance yourself emotionally. And this is the best way to deal with toxic people and teach them a lesson.
2. Let them go
We meet many people in life who all have a purpose to serve! Some of them stay, some leave, and some are not worth keeping.
You can’t hold onto everyone, especially when they become toxic. There will always be a point when you no longer see any value in the other person. The other person may pull you down or become too demanding to hold on. Or they may spread so much negativity that you decide not to take it anymore.
Yes, you got it right. It is time to let go and make them a thing of the past. If they are too toxic to hold on to, let them go. It is time to discard and disarm them. It is the best strategy to teach a toxic person a lesson.
3. Speak up
Do not suffer in silence, and do not let toxic people bug you, use you, or disregard you. If you want to teach them a lesson and beat toxic people in their own game, you need to let them know they are exposed and that you can see their true colours.
So, how to teach a toxic person a lesson? The best way is to let them know that you will no longer tolerate their behaviour and that they are no longer welcome.
It is wise to speak up instead of suffering alone in silence.
4. Don’t let their negativity consume you
Limit your exposure to toxic people to save yourself from their venom and toxicity.
Toxic people may make you feel that they need you desperately. This is what toxic people do. They suck your energy, and you always give in. So, you must take a stand for yourself rather than acceding to their demands.
Rather, you should focus on your strengths, be positive, and prioritize what you need to do or do things that make you feel alive.
You must learn how to put yourself first. So, break the loop, teach them a lesson, and disarm the negative people.
5. Detach and limit your interaction
There are certain situations where you can’t completely cut off toxic people. For example, you can’t avoid a toxic family member, coworker, or manager altogether. And if you are not dealing with these people wisely and tactfully, your battles can turn into war and cause you more harm. So exercise caution and think of the repercussions before you take any action.
Read Also: How To Deal with Negative People at Work: 7 Effective Tips
I have faced such a situation many times and picked my battles wisely!
In such a scenario, it is best to limit your interaction with such people and be patient.
However, in cases where it becomes too hard to handle and avoid a toxic person, it is better to confront them, talk to them directly, and explain your disappointment.
You can always tell the person that it is turning lethal, so it will be better to join hands and walk together than play on the opposite side. I have realized that positivity can help you win many wars, so the best way to deal with toxicity or negativity is to show your positive side.
Many other times, you can be wise enough to communicate but not fully engage. You may offer some compassion when absolutely necessary, but you should not attempt to fix them.
If someone is being too toxic to handle, you may avoid that person indirectly. One strategy that always works is to stop hanging out with them alone. Rather, you should hang out with them in groups so that you can distribute their negative load. Now, if the toxic person exhibits their poisonous behavior, you will not have to deal with it all alone.
This way, you will hit two targets with one bullet. First, you will not have to deal with the toxic person alone. Second, you won’t have to completely cut ties with the toxic person in question.
So, if you ask me how to teach a toxic person a lesson, I would say hang out in a group. Period!
6. Recognize the traits that make you an easy prey
Keep a close eye on what the other person wants from you and what attracts toxicity in your life. Try to understand if there is a pattern emerging out of all this. Pay attention and work on it. Try to break those patterns and learn to say no when the situation demands it.
7. Reconsider your relationship with the toxic person
What is keeping you in such a relationship anyway? Fear of loss, loneliness, or anything else? Holding on to a toxic person will lead to long-term damage, so it is better to cut off now than to repent later. Trust your gut and your judgement. Do not hold on and normalize abusive behaviour if you sense any negativity or toxicity.
You are a free person with free will. Exercise your liberty and rethink your relationship when the time comes. It will be tough to move on and rebuild your life all over again, but all the efforts will ultimately be worth it.
8. Forgive, but do not forget
Intelligent people quickly forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness is an art that has to do with your own peace and happiness, so that you can move on. People choose to forgive to attain their own harmony and achieve a state of consonance. But it doesn’t mean that they intend to give toxic people another chance. It means they are more aware and assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.
How To Teach A Toxic Person A lesson?
Do you really want to do it? Are you ready to waste your time and energy teaching someone a lesson?
I guess you should rather think of getting as far away from the negative person as possible. It is better to save your energy for something more fruitful.
If you are too keen to teach the other person a lesson for life, first become a person who is powerful enough to do the job. And to do so, you need to focus on yourself, focus on what you want, and ignore what you don’t. Negative people will fade away from your life eventually.
So, you can take two broad strategies for teaching a toxic person a lesson:
1. Fight toxicity with toxicity
One perspective that you can consider is fighting toxicity with toxicity. This means that if you want to teach a toxic person a lesson, you can become more negative, toxic and venomous than the other person.
But the pitfall of this approach is that it will make you a toxic person instead, will take away your peace of mind, and deprive you of your kindness. And what would be the outcome? Nothing positive.
This approach can lead you into a vicious circle that has no end. So, the best way to teach a toxic person a lesson is to get away from them as soon as possible and avoid them at all costs.
2. Fight toxicity with positivity
The second approach to teaching a toxic person a lesson is to fight toxicity with kindness and compassion. So, some of you can take this strategy and deal with toxic people by showing unconditional support, love and kindness.
This is like dealing with toxicity with love, patience, and kindness so that you can inspire the negative persons, have them come out of their negative zone, and break their toxic patterns.
There is nothing wrong with this approach. But the only challenge is that this approach is very consuming, takes a lot of patience and energy from your side, and might or might not lead to a positive outcome.
Moreover, a person who can deal with toxicity with kindness must be very positive and strong. Otherwise, they run the risk of becoming toxic themselves.
So, you can deal with toxicity with patience, love and kindness. And if it does not work, moving on will at least protect you from falling into a vicious trap.
How To Protect Yourself from a Toxic Person?
Many people I come across ask me how to protect myself from a toxic person. My answer is simple.
- Cut them off from your life if you can do without them.
- If they are important to you, confront them, speak your mind, and tell them that negativity is hampering your relationship from progressing. You should tell them what is acceptable and what is not.
- If these are people whom you can’t avoid, then limit your interaction to the bare minimum. Also, don’t hang out with them alone, but in groups.
In any case, you should set hard boundaries and maintain a fine line. The choice is yours. So, if you want an answer to how to protect yourself from a toxic person, it is right here. The best way to protect yourself is to shield yourself from their negativity.
I chose to cut a few of them off and retained a few, but only with limited interaction.
How To Get Rid of Toxic People?
One of my friends asked me once how to get rid of toxic people. How did you do it yourself?
My answer was simple. I went for an emotional detox and became unavailable to all the negative people in my life. It was tough to do so initially, but the end was saccharine.
To get rid of toxic people, you should ask yourself a question:
is the person too important to hold?
And what is the value that person is adding to my life?
If you feel that the person is causing a lot of noise and negativity and not adding value to your life, he is not worth holding onto.
It is time to part ways for your own good. You should focus on your well-being and peace of mind and let the other person focus on theirs.
How To Deal With a Toxic Husband?
This is a tricky thing to deal with. Dealing with a toxic spouse is a complex and personal situation. If you have concluded that your relationship has become harmful and your husband has become toxic, then it is time to deal with your toxic husband.
But how do you deal with a toxic husband you have to live with day and night?
First, determine if your relationship is abusive or toxic. There is a huge difference between the two. If it has become physically and emotionally abusive, then it is time to leave the past behind and move on.
If it is a toxic relationship, it is something that can be fixed or dealt with. So, how can you deal with a toxic husband?
- Familiarize yourself with the signs of a toxic marriage, such as controlling behavior, manipulation, and emotional abuse.
- Communicate openly and tell them what is acceptable and what behaviour is not.
- Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from emotional harm. Communicate your boundaries assertively but calmly.
- Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support. You don’t have to navigate this situation alone.
- Focus on your physical and emotional well-being. Self-care is essential during challenging times.
- Reflect on whether the relationship is salvageable or if leaving is the best option.
Always remember that in a relationship, both partners can show some level of toxicity or undesirable behavior. No relationship is perfect.
If you think your relationship has become toxic with your husband, then communication is the key. Yes, you and your spouse may not be completely aligned, and there will be situations where you both disagree. But you can win over this with kindness, timely communication, and showing appreciation to each other.
Tell your husband that you want to get past this unhealthy behaviour and rebuild a healthy connection.
Do you have confidence in yourself and your relationship? If the answer is yes, speak to your husband.
Tell him honestly about how you feel about his toxic behaviour.
If you think he is very critical of you, tell him.
If you think he always fights and argues, tell him.
Ask him to open up and share his innermost feelings and thoughts. Maybe he is dealing with issues you are not even aware of.
Fix him up, help him heal, and inspire him to do so with you as well. Listen to him and ask him to lend an ear as well.
One thing that works wonders is to re-establish your physical bond. Make time for each other, cuddle, and hug often. Physical touch heals even the worst of relationships. Also, go out for dinner and on date nights. Re-ignite the lost passion, bond, and re-commit yourselves to each other.
I hope this will fix your toxic husband and the toxic situation you are dealing with in your married life. But if it doesn’t work, go to a professional counsellor.
If seeking professional help does not change a thing and you start feeling more miserable, it is time to leave it all behind and make it a thing of the past. Yes, it is best if you move on.
Dealing with toxicity is not an easy thing and does not come overnight. These come only with experience. These are the strategies that worked for me. If you have some other strategies on ‘how to deal with toxic people,’ do mention the same in the comments section below.
I have also written a similar article on how to deal with negative people and handle negativity. You may want to read the article. Also, do not forget to check our YouTube channel for some inspiring and thought-provoking videos.