Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of these 5 things?

Is jealousy a sign of love? Or is it insinuating trust issues and inadequacies in your relationship? Whatever the reasons are, some amount of jealousy is healthy and may not necessarily be a problem per se. But the underlying feelings manifesting in the form of jealousy can be a cause of concern. Jealousy is not simple but a complex emotion and jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of these unresolved emotions.  

So if your jealousy is bothering you or impacting the health of your relationships, you need to address it head-on. And the first step to do so is to be cognizant of the underlying emotions triggering your jealousy. Once you understand the reasons behind those jealous pangs, you can easily navigate and overcome jealousy without much effort. 

Let us find out what is jealousy a sign of and decode jealousy by exposing the underlying reasons behind it. It will pave a way for self-awareness to seep in. And once you do it, you will be empowering yourself by creating a life you want. 

“Jealousy is an inner consciousness of one’s own inferiority, or apprehension of superiority: envy and uneasiness beneath it.” 

Everyone experiences those pangs of jealousy, and it is only normal to feel so. I used to get jealous when I was in the attraction and romance stage of my relationship. The feelings of jealousy used to be a predominant force in that stage. But as I progressed along various stages in a relationship, I felt more secure and stable, and jealousy withered away and took a backseat. 

You can’t justify the feelings of jealousy for life. You may pass off jealousy under the garb of love, but sometimes it is just more than that! There are a plethora of emotions that can trigger jealousy, like extreme possessiveness, low self-esteem, trust issues and whatnot! If your jealousy is persistent regardless of the stage of the relationship you are in, it might be a sign of a problem and be a matter of grave concern. So jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of your insecurities, wounds and expectations that should be addressed head-on. 

So, how does something that is a normal human emotion, can make you look insecure and become a breeding ground of suspicion? What is jealousy a sign of? The reasons are manyfold, and you need to know them all to find out your reasons for being jealous in the relationship so that you can set things right and reclaim your life.

Jealousy in a relationship is an indication of the following 5 things

1. The feelings of possessiveness and insecurity

We all have our own fears and threats in life, and some of us even start to believe that if we don’t protect and rescue our partners, they will not be able to survive. And as a result, you become overprotective and start to dominate every aspect of your partner’s life. But in reality, your partner may be strong enough to lead his own life, and your extreme dominance may do nothing well but repel your partner. 

Also, many people become dominating and start controlling their partner’s lives, right from the choice of clothes to the friends their partner can socialise with. And when things don’t happen as they want, it leads to conflicts and often manifests in the form of jealousy. If you get to the root of this psyche, the real reason is insecurity. When you become overprotective, it turns into possessiveness. And it fosters a breeding ground for negative emotions such as insecurity and jealousy. 

Who knows it all better than I. I had been in a relationship where the dominance was not direct. But it was in the form of creating interdependence. My partner used to do everything for me, such as selecting the clothes that she wanted me to wear for the day, packing my luggage for business trips and even checking my whereabouts from time to time. Initially, it all felt like love, but slowly it started to bother me. And soon I realised that it was nothing but a form of indirect control and assertion of passive dominance. 

But why? She was insecure! She was so fearful of losing me that she started to do things that made me dependent on her, even for small things, so that I can’t imagine a life without her. And it all manifested in the form of jealousy, fights, conflicts and envy. Ultimately, it spoiled it all. It was hindering our personal growth and was clearly a sign of trust issues in our relationship. 

So it won’t be wrong to say that jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of your possessiveness and insecurities. And it would be better to keep these feelings under check lest it spoils it all. 

2. Feelings of inadequacies, low self-esteem and lack of confidence 

Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of feelings of inadequacies you have because you believe that you are not worthy of your partner’s love and support. It is a clear indication of you suffer from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. 

Many of you may feel that your partner is the hotter and more successful one in your relationships. Yes, it can be true, and there is no denying the fact that not all partners are equal. But you also have something unique in you for which your partner chose you and for which people love you. When these feelings of “I am not attractive enough” or “I am not good enough” predominates your mind, you tend to become insecure about losing your partner to someone else who you think is better than you. It might not be true but you are creating a reality in your mind, and as a result, you become jealous and even resentful. 

Read Also: How to let go of resentment in a relationship.

So your jealousy is self-created, and you have imposed it on yourself by believing in something that is nothing less or nothing more than your poor self-esteem and lack of confidence. And it can be really annoying for your partner to see that you don’t think highly of yourself. Do not do that. Do not let your perception of inadequacies, poor self-esteem and lack of confidence ruin your present with those frequent bouts of toxic jealousy. 

3. Your past unpleasant experiences

Sometimes jealousy can also be a sign of your past unpleasant experiences in your previous relationships than your current partner’s actions. Most of us have experienced unpleasant encounters in our past, and it starts to project itself in the form of jealousy and insecurity in our current relationships. 

For example, if you have been a victim of infidelity or felt unfulfilled in your past relationships, these broken experiences can easily find a way into your present. These insecurities from your past can start dominating your present life and often manifest in the form of unexplained jealousy. So, jealousy in a relationship sometimes can be an indication of your wounded past caused by unfortunate events such as cheating, dishonesty, lies and disloyalty. 

4. Your pent-up feelings that you are keeping to yourself

Sometimes jealousy in a relationship is an indication of your pent-up feelings of insecurities, fears and desires that you are consciously or unconsciously withholding. Many of us keep our innermost feelings of needs, desires, wants and insecurities to ourselves because we are too shy to bring them out. Sometimes we are fearful of losing someone we value and love the most. And when we see our partners doing things that we think might take them away from us, we get jealous. 

Jealousy can ruin everything. When you are jealous, you express yourself in undesired ways that may even mask your true intent. So, it is better to understand those feelings that you are experiencing and speak to your partner about them. An understanding of your pent-up feelings that are leading to jealousy can lead to better and more fulfilling relationships.

All of the factors given above all indicate one thing, and that is the insecurities of jealous people and not about the love they have for their partners. And my advice would be to decode these feelings and free yourself of these deviated behavioural patterns to create a space for positive and healthy feelings to seep in.

5. Your partner’s doubtful actions

All jealousy is not bad, and not all jealousy indicates inadequacies in you only. Jealousy is sometimes justified and can be a sign of your partner’s doubtful actions in the past or present, such as inconsistent behaviour, history of cheating, dishonesty and even disloyalty. In such cases, jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of your partner’s doubtful actions and can cause you to get jealous for the right reasons.

However, sometimes jealousy can be normal when healthily expressed. It can also be possible that your partner is giving more attention to someone else, spending more time with them and sharing more secrets with them. Obviously, it will make you feel jealous. It is a sign of love or jealous love. But if healthily expressed, it can make your relationships stronger. 

 Now that you know what jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of, you may go ahead and fix the underlying cause of your toxic jealousy. A little self-awareness, processing of your unresolved conflicts and healthy communication can do wonders. 

So what else do you think that jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of?

If you liked this post, please share it with someone who is dealing with jealousy issues. If you have something to share with us, please mention the same in the comments section below. We would love to hear your thoughts. 

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