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There are so many approaches to be intimate — platonically, mentally, spiritually, or romantically. So, what is the point in limiting yourself to just one person? It is what Naina has to say when asked how she feels about being in a throuple relationship. Naina feels that consensual monogamy is not only fun but also liberating and fulfilling. She believes that the throuple relationships work best when they are conducted with proper purpose and compassion. Naina is in a throuple relationship for the last two years. She has two male partners Karan & Joel, and all three are in love with each other. Naina and Karan were primary partners, and Joel joined them later to form the triad. Yes, both Karan and Joel are bisexual males. (Read more about Gay Throuple Relationships-Rules and Stories)
I and my partner, we never planned to be a throuple. But when I realized that Karan was bisexual and longing to sleep with another man, we invited Joel. It all started with a threesome that later turned out to be a throuple. At first, we did not even know that what we were up to is even a thing. We did not even want to name it, but with time we became more accepting and now happily call ourselves a throuple. It took us more than two years to acknowledge that it was a romantic relationship. – Naina
There are many couples like Naina, straight and gay, who are venturing into being a throuple. Many of them do it knowingly, while others choose not to give it a name. Many keep it under the closet, and others are now being vocal about it. Whatever the case, throuple relationships are redefining the traditional societal norms and are very much part of our society.
Like I know Naina, Karan and Joel, you may have friends who are a throuple. But we do not even realize or acknowledge the existence of such relationships. As The Politician on Netflix is making a buzz for showcasing throuple relationships, many of us keep wondering if the throuple relationship is possible or throuple relationships even exist? But it is not strange to see people in a throuple relationship nowadays. While it may seem a little bizarre, it exists! For some, this arrangement is working in favour, and for others, it may be leading to a disaster. And for most of us, it is a territory unexplored. Yet, we want to know more about what is a throuple relationship? We want to know how it works and how people navigate jealousy, insecurity, and other sharing arrangements to a point where we want to know what a throuple sleeping arrangement is like?
So, it is time to reveal how people survive the throuple relationships and how it is different from a triad relationship or polyamory? Let us directly hear from Naina, Karan and Joel, as they share their story, thoughts and experience of being in a throuple relationship.
And hold onto your curiosity. Do not fret! Let us take it one by one.
What is a throuple relationship?
A throuple is a combination of two words, three and couple. It involves three people in a relationship that is romantic and intimate. Three people committed to each other as couples but not recognized by the law form a throuple. A throuple can be a triad, V, open and closed.
Is throuple a form of polyamory?
A throuple is a form of polyamory. Polyamory is a belief or relationship style that states that it is reasonable to love more than one person. It includes having more than one romantic relationship concurrently, and all the partners have knowledge of the same. And it is not cheating or will not be counted as infidelity. All polyamorous relationships have different arrangements.
What is a triad?
A triad relationship, as the name suggests, is made up of three partners. A triad in which all three partners are romantically and/or sexually involved with each other is called a throuple. A Triad relationship may form when a couple decides to open up their relationship to include a third partner. The third partner may be interested in both of them, or the couple may be both interested in the third partner. A triad can also form a vee relationship.
Vee! What is it?
A vee relationship is an arrangement of three partners, in which one of the partners acts as the pivot or hinge, dating two people at the same time. The other two people in a vee relationship are not sexually or romantically associated with each other. It means both are dating the same person but not dating each other. But they can be good friends in some cases or just casual acquaintances.
Okay! So what are closed and open throuple relationships?
It is to be noted that a throuple can either be in a closed relationship or in an open relationship. If it is closed then it means that all the partners in the throuple can only consummate and be romantically involved with only other people in the throuple. If it is open then it means all the three partners in a throuple are allowed to sleep outside, but cannot be romantically involved with anyone else apart from the three.
So is it the same thing as a threesome?
Nope! A threesome is purely erotic in nature, and it happens when a couple decides to invite a third person only for physical pleasure. While in a throuple relationship, whether open or closed, all the three partners are romantically inclined with each other.
Okay, so now we understand various types of arrangements that exist in our society, let us now understand what it is likely to be in a throuple directly from the horse’s mouth.
Are there any rules for being in a throuple?
There are no rules as such, and every throuple has its own relationship arrangements. What may work for one throuple may not work for the other.
Recommended read: Throuple Relationship Rules- 8 Tips For a Successful Throuple!
All the three people in a throuple must decide things like where everyone sleeps, who does with whom, how the date nights will work and who will handle what responsibilities and so on. – Karan
The sleeping arrangements in throuple relationships
There are no specific rules for where everyone sleeps. While some throuple share the same bed or same room, others might have their own sleeping arrangements and rotate between partners.
One of my partners loves to sleep alone, so he has his own bed and room by himself. While the other one sleeps with me. But we keep on rotating partners on and off. It works for us! – Naina
How about spending time?
There are no hard and fast rules for spending quality time with each other. Sometimes all the partners go out for a date together, and sometimes it’s just two of them taking their own turns.
We make sure to make time for each other. We three go out together, often enough, spend quality time and enjoy our date nights. At other times, just two of us go together when we feel the need to sort out things by taking turns. Nothing is fixed but we do communicate openly. – Joel
How about sleeping with people outside the throuple?
It depends on the type of throuple or triad you are in. While some throuples are open and sleeping outside with a fourth person is okay, others are closed and sleeping outside will be counted towards infidelity. There are mutually agreed rules that bind the throuple. But all the throuple relationships are different with their own rules and understandings.
We are in love with each other, all collectively and separately. We are exclusive until occasionally we approved some kind of extracurricular activity. We are essentially a closed throuple but, we do venture out and hunt.- Karan
How does a throuple navigate jealousy?
One common misconception about triads or throuple is that they do not get jealous. But it is not true. Jealousy is an inherent trait of all human beings and to get jealous is normal. Jealousy might pop up anytime. One person in a throuple might be jealous of how the other two bond emotionally and physically. And others may be jealous of their partner’s primary relationship outside the triad. But you have to navigate jealousy when it strikes, communicate openly and make the third person secure in all possible ways. You cannot completely avoid jealousy in any relationship, but you can choose to feel empowered and be able to converse truthfully.
We all experience jealousy. But a lot depends on how you handle jealousy. When one of us becomes insecure or jealous we openly talk about it, and we often check for the reasons for the other person’s behaviour. Sometimes we have episodes of legitimate jealousy but we talk ourselves through. It is all about open communication. You need to address jealousy head on! – Naina
Sometimes, when two of them are bonding, and I am not associated, I just try to jump in be a part of the conversation. But sometimes, I resist this urge to always be involved, as it is important to give them their space and let them work on their connection with each other. – Karan
How about two people drifting closer and the third feeling left out?
In a throuple, such a situation can easily arrive where one person feels left out or cornered, and the other two drift closer. And when one of the partners feels so, he should talk about it with the other two. If what he feels is right, he should ask the other two if they would like to migrate to a couple, or it is just a phase, and they are merely taking their time to bond. Again there are no set rules to follow. A lot comes from judgement and experience. But one thing is clear that communication is the key.
We have been through such a situation. However, it was less about being left out and more about the other two getting closer. There were times I was closer to one of my partners. And then both the men got close and spent more time with each other. And then I become close to the third partner. Things changed from time to time, and we adapted accordingly. – Naina
What is the best part of being in a throuple?
For most of us, being in a throuple feels bizarre. But for those who are into it, there is nothing better than being in a throuple relationship. It is like having the best of both worlds. Some feel secure and are happy to share responsibility. Some have saved their marriage from falling by entering into a triad, while others found meaning in physical intimacy and romance back. Many feel that they found lost meaning in life.
To be very frank, I enjoy the threesome, the sense of togetherness and a community in all the aspects of our relationships. I have got more people to share my feelings with and seek an opinion whenever a need arises. I have more supporters in life to whom I can fall back. And not to mention, the best part is that we have a mediator always available when disagreement strikes. – Karan
What is the challenging part of being in a throuple?
Like every relationship, being in a throuple comes with its own challenges. The most obvious one is to keep the triad aligned by managing every partner’s expectations. Plus, it takes a little extra communication to keep everyone on the same page.
When you are in a triad, you need to make extra efforts to manage expectations, be honest and communicate openly. So be ready to dedicate extra time and energy as you navigate through everyone’s expectations like sleeping arrangements, emotional breakdowns, and jealousy issues. Plus everyone’s sexual frequency is different, and what can be worse than wanting to make out only to be told that we are tired! – Naina
What is the hardest part of being in a throuple?
Throuple relationships are still considered as an aberration in our society and invite a lot of judgements. People in a throuple generally do not come out openly and therefore may feel left out as the society we live in has made arrangements for pairs only.
I have not come out to my family and most of my friends, as I fear judgement. And this is the hardest part. I know people won’t approve of such a relationship arrangement. However, Joel is open about our relationship with his family and friends. But he sometimes feels bad as we are part of his life and family, but he is not involved in our lives outside the relationship. It makes him feel unwanted sometimes. And it is actually heart-breaking. – Naina
Those who know about us sometimes get critical. And I hate defending our relationship when such a situation arrives. Logistically, since our society only welcomes and respects pairs, we end up confined to our rooms as invites are thrown open only to the primary couple. But in the end, we are happy! – Karan
People often think that we are together primarily for physical pleasure. And since we are into a triad, we are up for anything that is pleasurable. They think we are not exclusive. While it is true that physical needs brought us together, we quickly evolved into a more meaningful and emotional relationship. The truth is that we wanted to do things differently, and built this throuple. We made it work by being honest, by making time for each other and by managing everyone’s expectations. – Joel
I hope you are now able to understand the finer nuances of being in a throuple relationship and how you can make them work. If you like this post, do share your thoughts in the comments section below. Also do not forget to check out The Easy Wisdom YouTube Channel.
PS: The original names have been changed to protect anonymity.
